Them

All I want is for them to see me
For them to care
For them to see that we are still who we were when we found each other, when we stumbled so carelessly into something we didn't understand. Something we couldn't understand.
I have grown a little, but so did they. We grew together but apart at the same time. We could've built each other up and made something unbreakable.
But instead, something happened, something I don't understand. And they left.
They left me and my love where I was. It isn't fair but I need to learn somehow.
I am still here, I still care I still want them and I still will be here.
My friend told me that there's a difference from being in love and loving someone. You can always love someone, but you might not always be in love with them.

Fun

When I was young, I had a special kind of fun. A fun that is so special, that I only remember it, by the way my hands felt after and smelled and sometimes, even tasted. You never can forget the texture of crayons.
I drew rocket ships and "motorgycles" and bad guys! I wish I still had the happiness and innocence to see all those creations.

If only

"If it's not them, then it's someone else you'll find em, it might take time but I think you'll find a beautiful soul that will love you for you. love the way you talk walk the way you roll your eyes in frustration, the way you kinda chuckle before you cry, the way you say their name, the way you hold them and make eye contact right before you kiss them."

Time

Tonight is the the night.
I wrestle with it every day, every minute and every time I resist it gets worst
I want to quit, but quitters never win
Maybe I'm not ready to win, or meant to.
Time heals all, except those wounds that constantly bleed with every touch, even the slightest thought can create an unstoppable flow
The tears never let up only until the next wave of panic and the next and the next

I'm too young
I'm too inexperienced
I'm too lost to know what's up or down, right or wrong

I don't want to be but with time, maybe I will manage

Hats Hats Hats

 Hats

hats go on our heads 

hats can be red

hats do not mean you're dead

hats can be read

hats hats hats

what am I suppose to say about hats? 

there are large hats small hats colorful hats and bleak hats. 

hats hats hats.

how can hats be metaphorical? you tell me 

everyone can see your hats 

everyone can judge your hats

hats are hats

I don't wear my hat to church, I don't wear my hat to dances...when I go. I don't wear my hat when I sleep, or when I think deeply upon things that are petty, or things that stress me out and the one thing that calms me right away, is running my fingers through my hair, can't do that wearing a hat. My hat protects me too. From the sun in my eyes and my eyes from those who want to see them. My hat is part of my. 

The hat wearers creed

This is my hat. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My hat is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My hat, without me, is useless. Without my hat, I am useless. I must wear my hat true. I must wear it more straight than he who is trying to outclass me. I must wear it better before he does. I will...

My hat and I know what counts in high school is not the number of hats I wear, the noise of its color, nor the length of brim. We know that it is the way we wear it, we will wear it...

my hat is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its fabric, its colors and its insides. I will keep my hat clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...